Three Kiss Horror

I read a very interesting article in the Dutch weekly Elsevier about how greeting forms in our nether land are changing. As any of you will know who have spent time here in the last decade the three kisses on the cheek greeting had been making an inexorable march towards dominance up until quite recently. Many foreigners including me dislike the three kisses many reasons including the following:

1. Kissing every female at the table or in the room three times takes inordinately long.
2. For me kissing is quite intimate anyway so I don't want to do it unless I know the person (and like them).
3. Further to the above, I don't mind kissing women I find attractive but otherwise I have an in-built resistance.
4. The whole thing has gotten a little bit too much and nobody knows what the rules are any more.

Now Elsevier reports that young Dutch people are moving towards a single kiss on the cheek or lips ((fe)male to female) and a handshake or shoulder pat (male to male). Life is so much easier if you only have to deal with one air kiss to the cheek. I also like the affectionate shoulder pat or rub (known as the 'wrijfeje' in Dutch). That is enough to acknowledge another man without needing any further intimacy.
Having said all that the Polish habit is to do three kisses when greeting intimates so I am unlikely to see the back of the three kisses any time soon. Even if it could just be twice comme à la française I would be happier. Just like I used to dread the shaking hands part at mass I am often confronted with the three kiss horror. As Margaret Thatcher once said "No! No! No!".